the Piffle Theory

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Technology continues to advance, often in leaps and bounds.  The amount of changes that have been made in the last few years alone is extraordinary.  However, I can’t help but noticing that some seem completely arbitrary and pointless.

Take for instance soap.  Using soap is relatively an easy thing to learn and master.  Whether it be bar or liquid, the principle is the same–lather, rinse, repeat.  Not only is it simple to accomplish, it also does not take an inordinate amount of time.  Both these statements being the case, what does having soap that is pre-foamed say about our culture?  It cuts the effort required to naught.  If soap usually ends in foam after you lather to wash your hands, why are we being given the end project and not what it is we need to accomplish the job?  Are we just meant to have the foam dispensed onto our hand to simply rinse it off without rubbing our hands together?  Does already foamy soap have the same ability to clean as the soaps of my youth?

One thing that I am curious about is how was it decided to make and market soap that foams itself for you.  It sounds like the people coming up with it were possibly a bit drunk, bored, joking, or on the receiving end of some sarcasm.

The possible bettering of life should be the striving goal technology aims to achieve in all its endeavors.  Though technology cannot always be useful to a large percentage of the population in that way, it still has some sort of use.  Generally.  Foam soap doesn’t seem to feel the need to conform to what one may expect qualifies as a good thing to be paid for.  I’m not sure the scientists that came up with it should get positive marks on their report cards, but they definitely get some respect from me.


Several years ago I embarked on a wonderful adventure. This project has led me to many strange and beautiful lands as I slowly immersed myself into shoe culture. Specifically, I dealt with the unique culture of the Chucks, a nomadic group which separates itself into different tribes, each of which has a different migratory pattern. The group I joined was called the Skquéc, a name the people share with their language. In time I came to understand their language and social customs.

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Note: This was originally written by me … last year? February? I’m not sure. But seeing as I got busy and such I hadn’t post this here. Any following material should be Internet new, though not necessarily written very recently.

Time is purple.

In the new series of the hit BBC science fiction drama Doctor Who two different colours are used for the time vortex. The time vortex is what one passes through to travel forwards or backwards through time. It is explained in the new series of the show that when traveling forward through time the vortex is red, and when traveling backwards it is blue. Furthermore, if one travels neither forward or backward through time then it must be assumed that the time they are occupying is current, or present time. The present time could then be considered the sum total of both past and future time. The amalgamation of this would be the combination of the red and blue vortexes. Therefore when all the points are taken as true the only possible conclusion is that time is purple.

The beige reference can be better understood after reading this article.

Note: This is a short article story (since it seems articles are all I can write) that came about from talking to a friend about universe theories and childhood stories. I seem to remember reading a story when I was young about something swallowing the universe or something. Of course that might not be true, I really don’t know. This is either my version of that story, or else I’m quite imaginative. 🙂 I wrote this is around fifteen minutes and have only tried to correct grammar where I noticed it. Enjoy!

Once there was a time when a giant took it upon himself to yawn. This seemingly normal act was not without it repercussions, for such was the size of the giant that he accidentally inhaled and swallowed the universe. The universe did not notice this at first, and the giant was left all alone. In his loneliness he took comfort in food, which he began to eat in excess. His eating propelled the universe into his stomach, which was beginning to work over time to process all the food he consumed. It was around this time that the universe noticed something was definitely amiss, what with all this mushed up goop being thrown into their lives. For innumerable millennia the universe has had to reside in the giant’s stomach just trying to keep above the muck. People within the universe began to complain about the unfair state of their lives, completely ignorant of the crushing sorrow that constantly besieged the giant. Very few looked to the future, and those that did were pointingly ignored, like the giant. Those few knew the giant would not be lonely for much longer, for the food within him began to be too much to contain. With much grumbling and groaning, the giant’s stomach was forced to relieve its pressure by releasing it’s contents into southern lands. This turn of events immediately caught the universe’s attention, and their cries of anguish rose up to the crestfallen giant’s ears.

Moral of the Story: Be glad you’re not in the bowels.

(Yes I know the moral sounds a bit shit, I’m sorry.)

I feel, in this first post of mine, that I should draw your attention to a specific part of the commercial world, a part that largely goes unnoticed and unquestioned by the greater society. This branch, I feel, has been cheating us for years without notice from any governing committee. Yet when thought about for a little while, one can already find many improbably norms. This brings into question whether the level of technology currently being marketed is the level of advancement of this commercial sector. The facts of my accusative inquiry into the nasal tissue companies are thought provoking and, with any luck, will lead to an investigation by the authorities.

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the Piffle Theory:

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