the Piffle Theory

Archive for the ‘Story’ Category

Note: This is a short article story (since it seems articles are all I can write) that came about from talking to a friend about universe theories and childhood stories. I seem to remember reading a story when I was young about something swallowing the universe or something. Of course that might not be true, I really don’t know. This is either my version of that story, or else I’m quite imaginative. 🙂 I wrote this is around fifteen minutes and have only tried to correct grammar where I noticed it. Enjoy!

Once there was a time when a giant took it upon himself to yawn. This seemingly normal act was not without it repercussions, for such was the size of the giant that he accidentally inhaled and swallowed the universe. The universe did not notice this at first, and the giant was left all alone. In his loneliness he took comfort in food, which he began to eat in excess. His eating propelled the universe into his stomach, which was beginning to work over time to process all the food he consumed. It was around this time that the universe noticed something was definitely amiss, what with all this mushed up goop being thrown into their lives. For innumerable millennia the universe has had to reside in the giant’s stomach just trying to keep above the muck. People within the universe began to complain about the unfair state of their lives, completely ignorant of the crushing sorrow that constantly besieged the giant. Very few looked to the future, and those that did were pointingly ignored, like the giant. Those few knew the giant would not be lonely for much longer, for the food within him began to be too much to contain. With much grumbling and groaning, the giant’s stomach was forced to relieve its pressure by releasing it’s contents into southern lands. This turn of events immediately caught the universe’s attention, and their cries of anguish rose up to the crestfallen giant’s ears.

Moral of the Story: Be glad you’re not in the bowels.

(Yes I know the moral sounds a bit shit, I’m sorry.)


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the Piffle Theory:

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